Cannes on the cheap -- the pros and Cannes

It is possible, with a little elbow grease and some Mary Poppins style packing, to attend the Cannes film festival like a star without maxing out credit cards or taking out a second mortgage. There are a few tricks worth revealing, from camping to rush ticket line waiting, that will keep your total budget below $50 a day without sacrificing the glamor of the celebrity-filled festival.

Accommodations

Parc Bellevue Campsite is wonderful. If you bring a tent, then you've got a secure spot with a swimming pool, showers and bathrooms for under $20 a day -- don't forget your own toilet paper. There are also nice mobile units available for around $60 a night. They have beds and other necessities as well as private patios for a little chill out space.

Be warned! The Web site promises that La Croisette is only a "few minutes" away. Perhaps, if you're testing one of the Monaco Gran Prix cars in the middle of the night you can get there in four minutes. Otherwise, plebes must take the bus, which is only about a half an hour, but totally inconvenient. Taxis run you about 25 euros, depending on the night -- Ouch!

Premiers
This is pretty cheesy, but it works. Stand outside the entrance into the Palais (the center of the festival) and hold a sign in French or English that you need tickets into, for example, the premier of "Ocean's 13." Somebody with credentials, and something better to do that night, will probably dump their invitation on someone who looks desperate enough. Otherwise, you'll need your own credentials, and unless you're in the film business that's not going to happen.

Cons -- Besides having to look desperate, you also have to look dapper. Men need to be in tuxedos and women just have to look pretty -- high heels instead of flip flops. If not, a polite yet firm Frenchman will tell you in so many words that you have no chance in hell of walking the red carpet. The French are sticklers for dressing up.

Solution -- Bring a tuxedo. Even a second-hand black suit will work. They actually have bow ties there for you to borrow (aren't they considerate). Women have it easy for once. A simple dress works.

Parties
There are hundreds of parties every day during the Festival de Cannes, so getting into a couple isn't too difficult. Along the Croisette, there are several beach parties throughout the day and night. If they're not busy, you just talk to the doormen for a while and pretend like you're going to buy tons of drinks, but do not, I repeat, do not buy a ton of drinks. They'll most likely let you in if it's slow.

The secret is to make sure the doorman remembers you. Kiss him on the cheek, shake his hand, do anything you think will cast a favorable impression on him -- pull your pants down if you want. If he remembers you, he might just let you in when the party is actually happening later on. You can also hang out in the hotel lobbies and whenever you see a lesser-known celebrity heading into a party, just follow nonchalantly behind. You might be mistaken as one of the entourage and be let in.

Cons -- Some who wait to get into parties can spend hours outside looking in, so be aggressive and if it doesn't work, move on. Life is too short to wait in long lines. Also, one drink can cost between 15 and 30 euros in the club, so have a bottle of wine somewhere else or go sober. There's enough to do and you never know who will offer you a little Dom Perignon.

Au Revoir Cannes

"Sicko" to make Americans sick

The Cannes jury chose a Romanian film, "4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days" from director Cristian Mungiu as the top film of the festival this year. It's sure to be released in the United States thanks to the Palm D'Or, but who knows if anyone will jump to see it.

On the other hand, several American films premiering at the Festival de Cannes are sure to be blockbusters, with "Oceans 13" the obvious choice for American moviegoers -- Al Pacino adding to a cast already favored among girls and women alike. Thankfully, 13- to 35-year-old males have "Transformers" and "The Simpsons" to look out for.

Now to the indie-art house films that are sure to bring tears and a profound worldview to American audiences...

SICKO

First off, there's "Sicko," the project Michael Moore began just after "Fahrenheit 9/11." The film explores America's failing HMO system, and in typical Moore fashion, it follows lovable, patriotic Midwesterners through the process of denied health insurance claims.

Over the last several years, Moore's team documented tragic stories of death, sickness and financial ruin all thanks to the callous M.D. administrators running the country's multi-trillion dollar health insurance industry. In contrast, the second half of the film explores the universal health care systems of countries such as England, France and Canada. The real kicker comes when he escorts a group of 9/11 volunteers, invalid with respiratory problems and without insurance, past the Guantanamo Bay prison camp and into Cuba where smiling doctors provide care and medication for mere pennies.

Of course, Moore paints far to rosy a picture of these health care systems to cement his argument. The British will be the first to tell you that their experiences and Moore's conjecture don't exactly line up. Also, the Cuban doctors were way too nice -- it was almost as if the minister of health was looking over their shoulders.

Despite the criticism, which Moore has seen a fair share of on previous films, the movie has a good shot at winning over American moviegoers in both red and blue states. I mean, who doesn't have a HMO horror story that they're at least connected to on a secondary level. There's always the single mother who lost her job in retail after the chemotherapy left her wasted and frail. And, don't forget the independent carpenter who lost his fingers and his livelihood as well.

Oh, and Hillary Clinton, you might want to start the P.R. machine now. This film brings back some ugly memories -- and you thought Moore was a democrat.

NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN

So, I unfortunately didn't get to see the next few films, the screenings can be pretty exclusive, but you can't help but pay attention to the buzz, so keep an eye out.

"No Country For Old Men," by Joel and Ethan Coen is a deconstructed crime drama that follows a man who happens upon a stash of heroin, $2 million and a bunch of dead thugs. A homicidal maniac follows him through the desert in search of his goods with plenty of violence and some typical Coen brothers dialogue.

PARANOID PARK

For any former skate rat, this beautifully filmed feature by Gus Van Sant is a must see. It's about a skateboarder who kills, of course, a security guard. The movie is supposed to tap into the psyche of a generation without any real identity, but we'll see about that when it comes out. Everybody keeps talking about the cinematography.

PERSEPOLIS

In keeping with rebellious cinema, keep an eye out for "Persepolis," a French-Iranian animated film from Marjane Satrapi and Vincent Paronnaud. The feature follows a girl who grows up in Tehran and dreams of becoming a revolutionary. Sent to Austria for safety, the girl soon learns what repression is all about.

Get out while the gettin's good!

While the Cannes film festival ends today, we thought it might be a good idea to beat the rush and be on our way to Budapest, and while we weren't able to see all the best movies premiering there, Gus Van Sant's "Paranoid Park" and the Coen brothers' "No Country for Old Men" got the best reviews, we did manage to catch a couple premiers and reviews will come within the next days.

Our last night ended with a bang. Michelle exited the V.I.P. Room with none other than Quentin Tarantino, who was hosting the party for the European debut of "Death Proof." We met Tarantino earlier at the party and had no idea that Michelle would be blinded by the flash of papparazi outside the club. Other celebs include the three Rs -- Rosario Dawson, Robert Rodriguez and Rose McGowan.
Here's McGowan with the coolest bouncer ever, thanks Allen!

Communication is tough while on the road, so further postings are pending... Till next time.

They show movies here too...

The Festival de Cannes carries on, but who knows how long we will. Saturday was when everybody decided to show up, so the parties got a lot more exclusive and, for true film afficianados, it became time to get down to business.

First of all, we learned that Gerard Butler is slightly perturbed because the film "Watchmen" is still in the gutter due to creative differences with producers and the great Alan Moore. Butler really wants to work on the project but for the time being he's promoting "Nim's Island."

Just on the side, "Ender's Game" is in production.

I had an interview today with the director and writer of the soon to be released "Opal." Dina Ciraulo is a San Francisco film maker with a lot of promise. Hopefully, you'll read more about her soon in a Bay Area publication ala Brent Begin.

Also, we went to St. Tropez this morning for a little break. It was fantastic.

By the way, here's a shameless picture of Jessica Simpson. Nice tan...

We are still going out of course...

And this was a complete surprise, U2 played "Where the Streets Have no Names" and "Vertigo."
Au revoir, and don't worry, there's an editorial coming soon.

Opening a Cannes of worms

Bonjour, and happy Friday everyone. The Festival de Cannes is turning out to be everything it's cracked up to be and Michelle and I have so many stories to tell. From a Puccini recital to a sunrise on the yacht of Saudi royalty, the first two nights of the festival have been all about parties and celebrity sightings.

Wednesday was opening night and a black tie gala at the Palais attracted everyone from stars to film students. Unfortunately, we weren't invited, but it was a different story at the V.I.P. Room afterward where Moby entertained a chic jet-set crowd. Michelle had a chat with Gerard Butler, otherwise known as King Leonidas of "300," and he turned out to be more than congenial.

Thursday, Michelle's help for the San Francisco Film Society at the Cinecitta press conference landed us an invitation to their gala dinner. It began with a goose bump-inspiring recital of Puccini's La Boheme and Madama Butterfly. The singers, Tiziana Ducati and Giorgio Berrugi, as well as pianist Francesca Tosi filled the Hilton lobby with a few tear-jerking arias.



Afterward, we followed Maria de Medeiros, of "Pulp Fiction" fame into the bowels of the Carlton hotel for a Nikki Beach extravaganza with a live house vocalist and just few bottles of Dom Perignon.

Back at the aforementioned V.I.P. Room, Pamela Anderson was kissing on some bearded dude while Kid Rock showed off one of his hats.



Then we met three Saudi princes who invited us back to their yacht. While it wasn't as impressive as the Afghan prince's ocean liner anchored in the harbor, it did boast two Picassos and a few Chagalls. We spent most of our time with feet in spa. I'll let the pictures explain.




So now it's Friday night and I've got to go. We miss everybody and I heard San Francisco is beautiful right now. Au Revoir!!!

Cannes you come up with a pun?

So, there are so many puns already out there for Cannes -- Cannes you dig it, etc. I'm turning it over to you, fair readers. Please help name the next blog entry using the word Cannes (pronounced can, with a softish a). The winner receives praise and, perhaps, international acclaim.

Just put your entry into the comments section, and let those creative juices flow!

Closing night at the San Francisco Int'l Film Festival

The San Francisco International Film Festival came to a close last night with a screening of "La Vie en Rose," a movie about the life of Edith Piaf. The movie was an emotional portrait of the French singer and the audience at the Castro Theater was treated to an interview after the film with Director Olivier Dahan.

While Dahan struggled to speak about the movie in front of such a large crowd, it was nice of him to give it a shot. He was considerably warmer at the party afterward at Mezzanine where a host of film industry types cruised the club in search of late-night companionship with not-so-film-industry types.

Couldn't make it to the after party at Tosca, I've gotta pack.

By the way, Mexican film "The Violin" stole the show this year, winning the $10,000 SKYY Prize and garnering the most audience votes.

Thanks, San Francisco Film Society for all your hard work. On to Cannes...